Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Miracles Do Happen

Ever since Reagan was born, my world has been rattled.

Things had never been so dire before. I did not have a life-altering event to point to that had turned everything upside down.

I had not felt pain like that before.

And it wasn't her fault. And I don't look at her and feel that pain.

I feel joy and gladness and also raw when I look at her. Her life has already brought such highs and lows for me.

My lowest moment in this experience was right before her trach surgery. I already blogged about it, so I'll just leave it alone. But despair was the key emotion. God didn't do what I hoped He would do.

And then the highest point came the day she left the hospital after 9 weeks. Not just because she was with us, but because GUESS WHAT??? One of her vocal cords moved!!!


And because it is moving, Reagan will probably not need her trach for much longer. Isn't that a miracle? Because I prayed so hard for that to happen and you did too. I know it. God really did what I hoped He would do.

So, I guess now I am left with the two extremes in my head.

Disappointment and Joy. Despair and Hope. All in two months time.

It's a lot to wrap my brain around. I still haven't reconciled the two. God is still working in me to... explain? grow? accept? decide?

But this I do know... miracles do happen.

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