Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Today it has been one year since this little girl had her trach removed. One year since we heard her little voice for the first time. One year ago God healed Reagan.
He is good.
This year has been one filled with joy and celebration, marveling at every word from her mouth. It has also been a year of turmoil and wrestling with God in my heart. I could not walk away from all that had happened and not feel in my spirit, Where did THAT come from? I wish I could say that I unconditionally trusted what God had done was good and that we all were better for it, but I have to say it has taken some time. I am much further down the path than one year ago today, but God and I are still working it out together and I am learning to see this from His point of view. I know in my core that I will never abandon Him, but I have never been hurt this way either. It is unsettling to feel upset with God. I am learning that it is my pride that feels offended, mad that this had to happen.
All of this to say that I am still growing and changing and working it out. Which is I'm sure just what God wanted all along. No matter how I feel about why it had to happen, I will forever say that God is good because He chose to heal Reagan and give her a normal life. I do not understand it all, but I am sure that He showed mercy and love to our family on that November 9th last year.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
We headed back to Peltzer's pumpkin patch this year, another year older.
It is just so wild to see my children turning into real people. They can actually sit and smile for a picture. I still think this is miraculous. Man, those toddler years scarred me.
They are so attached to each other, best friends even. It has been humbling to observe their relationship and know that what they share together is much longer lasting than what Nate and I cultivate with them.
I have to say that I am really excited about the holidays this year. I am very thankful to be on the other side of the baby years and to look forward to all the fun stuff we can do together as a family now. My kids are amazing and we have good times together, so now that they are older I am feeling adventurous about all we can do. We only have a few short years and teenage-hood will be upon us, so I'm just going to enjoy life in this moment.