Today it has been one year since this little girl had her trach removed. One year since we heard her little voice for the first time. One year ago God healed Reagan. He is good.
This year has been one filled with joy and celebration, marveling at every word from her mouth. It has also been a year of turmoil and wrestling with God in my heart. I could not walk away from all that had happened and not feel in my spirit, Where did THAT come from? I wish I could say that I unconditionally trusted what God had done was good and that we all were better for it, but I have to say it has taken some time. I am much further down the path than one year ago today, but God and I are still working it out together and I am learning to see this from His point of view. I know in my core that I will never abandon Him, but I have never been hurt this way either. It is unsettling to feel upset with God. I am learning that it is my pride that feels offended, mad that this had to happen.
All of this to say that I am still growing and changing and working it out. Which is I'm sure just what God wanted all along. No matter how I feel about why it had to happen, I will forever say that God is good because He chose to heal Reagan and give her a normal life. I do not understand it all, but I am sure that He showed mercy and love to our family on that November 9th last year.
Amen.
