Not Your Typical Pastor's Wife

This is my friend, Ann. Ann is a special person to me because she has been my partner for three years during one of the most adventurous times of my life.

And I do mean adventurous.

I have not known Ann very long, we don't really go way back at all. And yet it is hard for me to believe this because we have been through so much together. God planned for us to be friends and for us to serve a greater purpose together than apart. He created MomSpace through us and I cannot be the same because of it.

Our partnership is drawing to a close in the next couple of months and I am rejoicing for the next stage in my life, and yet nostalgic for all that will not be anymore. The multitude of phone calls, the millions of emails, the food delegation, the agonizing decisions, the detailed planning, the unbridled laughter, and the pure joy to serve others and see it make a difference in their lives. It will all be over.

Where does this leave my friend Ann and I?

Well, as far as I am concerned, she is a part of my heart. She is a part of my story, one that my Father is still telling. I know she will continue to be a main character, an essential sister no matter what the future holds for us both. We have a few things up our sleeves and I am thankful for the chance to continue to work alongside this passionate, godly, incredibly talented woman.

Fretzes Got Talent?

Brennen is watching a show right now and it is telling the kids that everyone has a talent. Brennen informed me that his talent is skateboarding and scooter riding.

I agreed with him.

Then he asked me, "Mama, what is your talent?

Uhhhhhh.

He then said, "Oh, wait! You don't have a talent, do you?"

I said, "Yes, sir, I most certainly do, thankyouverymuch!"

So then he waited for my answer.

And do you know that I cannot think of a THING???

I am not artistic, I am not creative. I do not have mad sports skillz. I am not a good cook, and I am lame at doing my own hair. I cannot sing nor play an instrument.

I honestly could not think of an answer for him. The lame-o thing I finally told him is that I take good care of babies. (I only thought of that cause I have Reagan today.) I thought about saying that I am good at organizing, but I didn't want him to think he has a TOTALLY LAME mom.

I am going to have to think about this concept some more.

Sickness

I have a sickness...

My house haunts me. I don't feel restful in this place very often. I usually feel overwhelmed and my mind races with all the things that could be cleaned or organized.

If I am watching TV in the living room, I notice how dusty it is. And how dusty the shelves are. And that the couches could be vacuumed from all of the crumbs my kids leave behind.

If I am taking a shower, I dream about tearing out the whole thing and putting in nice travertine and a new non-moldy tub with new shower doors without mildew on them.

If I am cooking in the kitchen, I avoid looking at the stove top that needs new burner covers, I notice my cluttered and messy pantry shelves, and the tile floor screams at me to wash it.

AND I CLEAN ALL THE TIME, PEOPLE!!!

Why do I never feel like it is enough? Why am I never happy with my house?

It just never, never ends. I have a hard time putting my heart and soul into a cleaning day, only to have it last for a day and a half. Right?

There has to be a happy medium. I know I have to let stuff go, and BELIEVE ME, I have since having kids, but I want to feel restful in a clean space because it makes me good.

Ugh. I better go, the list is calling me.

Olivia's Makeover

I've recently decided to redo Olivia's bedroom and I am obsessed with searching the internet for ideas. I settled on a turquoise and red and white color scheme and there are so many great ideas out there. Here are a few I love:

Birdie book pages clustered above her desk

A red yarn O with her name on it to hang in the middle of her mirror

I'm gonna look for some cute coordinating paper for hooks

Definitely going to make these in red and turquoise over her bed

The Amazing Heather G. is going to help me by making one of these for me

Isn't this fun? Do you like the ideas? Let me know if you find any other red and turquiose pics!

Avery Grace

A- Ambitious

V- Vivacious

E- Eager to help

R- Ridiculously Cute

Y- Yodeler (Okay, not really... couldn't think of anything)

All I know is she is really, really loved...

You have to see this...

I realized that I haven't been taking very many pictures lately. Probably Christmas burn out.

So, when I go back through albums to find something to post about, all I can see is this:

Do I talk about her too much? Cause I really don't want to bug you, it's just that she means so much. She means more than chubby cheeks and tiny fingers and a soft tummy. She is more than a delicious smelling head and edible toes.

She means hope to me. Her happy face means that Jesus heard me. Her raspy, earnest voice means that He looked down, saw my desire and my despair, and then said... yes. I will heal her now. I still look at her face and stop and think about that moment when God came through for me... and my family... and for her.

And so... I wanted you to too.

SB

After Nate left his old job, and before he started his new job, we all went to Santa Barbara for a little vacation. Nate and I had never been here before and wanted to try a new location (sorry, Newport). It was a lot of fun now that our kids are older and it made me anticipate future trips with kids who don't nap or need diaper changes or bottles warmed or pack-n-plays.

The world is wide open to us! Who would have thought we would ever get here?

Here are pics of our time in Solvang and around Santa Barbara:

Having lunch in a German restaurant in Solvang

On the Santa Barbara pier at sunset

Family shot in Solvang

Nate was so happy to bring the kids to Malibu

Our little family

Mac Daddy

Something life altering happened to me recently and you probably didn't even know.

Did you know I got a MacBook for Christmas?

YES... I... DID...

And now that I have it, I feel like I could be the most productive, creative, smart and organized person I know. I feel like anything I could possibly need is at my fingertips. The possibilities are endless and I just ache to pore over my Mac and pay attention to it.

I want to sort my iPhotos and make photo books. I want to upload memories to Shutterfly and Facebook in a single minute.

I want to download music on iTunes and upload it again to my iTouch, all in the blink of an eye.

I want to explore the App store, and make a home movie, input all of my contacts, and take funny pictures with the Photo Booth.

I want to read the book I got through my new Amazon app and learn how to play the new game I bought, Braid.

There is so much to do! So much to see!

BUT.

I do have a DVR too.

Blasted DVR.

Ramblings

It's getting late, so I'll just jot down a few things...

-Nate is in England right now. He will be gone for two weeks and that is the longest he has ever been away from us. Olivia is having a harder time than I thought, but she is the one who gets how long two weeks is.

-When he comes home he will work from home. Like in our bedroom. Yikes.

-Reagan is my highlight. My thoughts of her are not tinged with sadness or tragedy anymore. She is pure joy and she smells divine.

-Liv goes back to school tomorrow. I am glad for her to have something to entertain her all day, but she is losing her zeal for that place. She wishes she could still stay home, doesn't want to do all the work. She says that math is hard and she just writes and writes and writes all day. Sounds like I am going to hate high school. In happier news, she is 8 now and getting quite mature. Who knew?

-Brennen is getting old. He sounds more like a real person every day. His raspy, croaky voice just gives me a kick, I love it. It seems more hoarse this week for some reason. He is afraid of Home Alone, Tangled, and How to Train your Dragon. His greatest fears in life right now are (in no particular order) 1. balloons 2. fire 3. thunder and 4. getting his hair brushed. (I added the last one.)

-This is my first post of the new year and I want to say how much I want change. I want my body to change, I want my heart to change, I want to be a grown up. I want to learn from my mistakes, learn from other's mistakes, and not go in circles. I want to do so many things and not enough things. I am too much and not enough all at the same time. I want to see myself how God sees me this year, not how others see me. I want to be more aware of the things He wants to get rid of within me and embrace the things He is cultivating in me.

I hope He sees me 20 pounds lighter.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

- Buy presents for 25 people that everyone will love at a ridiculously good price and wrap them all by yourself

Check.

- Decorate the house with every last thing in my Christmas decor tub and not make it look too cluttered

Check.

- Plan for, shop for, coordinate an 8 year old birthday party in the middle of the hectic month

Check.

- Make a professional photography session appointment for Christmas card pictures for the first time in your family's history, soothe and clean up your daughter's swollen face after she fell out of a tree, cancel the said photo shoot, and work until 11pm on Walmart.com making a Christmas card out of your own photos

Check.

- Attend 4 Christmas parties before the week of Christmas

Check.

- Finally have everything checked off your list so that you can just enjoy the Christmas season now

Check.