Mac Daddy

Something life altering happened to me recently and you probably didn't even know.

Did you know I got a MacBook for Christmas?

YES... I... DID...

And now that I have it, I feel like I could be the most productive, creative, smart and organized person I know. I feel like anything I could possibly need is at my fingertips. The possibilities are endless and I just ache to pore over my Mac and pay attention to it.

I want to sort my iPhotos and make photo books. I want to upload memories to Shutterfly and Facebook in a single minute.

I want to download music on iTunes and upload it again to my iTouch, all in the blink of an eye.

I want to explore the App store, and make a home movie, input all of my contacts, and take funny pictures with the Photo Booth.

I want to read the book I got through my new Amazon app and learn how to play the new game I bought, Braid.

There is so much to do! So much to see!

BUT.

I do have a DVR too.

Blasted DVR.

Ramblings

It's getting late, so I'll just jot down a few things...

-Nate is in England right now. He will be gone for two weeks and that is the longest he has ever been away from us. Olivia is having a harder time than I thought, but she is the one who gets how long two weeks is.

-When he comes home he will work from home. Like in our bedroom. Yikes.

-Reagan is my highlight. My thoughts of her are not tinged with sadness or tragedy anymore. She is pure joy and she smells divine.

-Liv goes back to school tomorrow. I am glad for her to have something to entertain her all day, but she is losing her zeal for that place. She wishes she could still stay home, doesn't want to do all the work. She says that math is hard and she just writes and writes and writes all day. Sounds like I am going to hate high school. In happier news, she is 8 now and getting quite mature. Who knew?

-Brennen is getting old. He sounds more like a real person every day. His raspy, croaky voice just gives me a kick, I love it. It seems more hoarse this week for some reason. He is afraid of Home Alone, Tangled, and How to Train your Dragon. His greatest fears in life right now are (in no particular order) 1. balloons 2. fire 3. thunder and 4. getting his hair brushed. (I added the last one.)

-This is my first post of the new year and I want to say how much I want change. I want my body to change, I want my heart to change, I want to be a grown up. I want to learn from my mistakes, learn from other's mistakes, and not go in circles. I want to do so many things and not enough things. I am too much and not enough all at the same time. I want to see myself how God sees me this year, not how others see me. I want to be more aware of the things He wants to get rid of within me and embrace the things He is cultivating in me.

I hope He sees me 20 pounds lighter.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

- Buy presents for 25 people that everyone will love at a ridiculously good price and wrap them all by yourself

Check.

- Decorate the house with every last thing in my Christmas decor tub and not make it look too cluttered

Check.

- Plan for, shop for, coordinate an 8 year old birthday party in the middle of the hectic month

Check.

- Make a professional photography session appointment for Christmas card pictures for the first time in your family's history, soothe and clean up your daughter's swollen face after she fell out of a tree, cancel the said photo shoot, and work until 11pm on Walmart.com making a Christmas card out of your own photos

Check.

- Attend 4 Christmas parties before the week of Christmas

Check.

- Finally have everything checked off your list so that you can just enjoy the Christmas season now

Check.

December Musings

Yesterday Brennen told me that his brain is working really well.

He can just "think of so many things and remember stuff and make good choices."

He also said, "My brain didn't work so good when I was 3... but it's working better now that I am 5!" Where does he come up with this??

As of about a week ago Brennen stopped calling Olivia "Sissy." He only says Liv now.

I really, really don't like it. I keep encouraging him to still call her Sissy, since he is the only one on earth who can, but he is feeling really grown up this month and doesn't like how it sounds.

Olivia lost another tooth on top today and now she has rabbit teeth. Only her HUGE front teeth show when she smiles. Just in time for Christmas pictures.

I babysat Reagan for the first time this week. Actually, Reagan and Avery. It was wonderful and tiring and fun and busy. Reagan was a good girl and smiled at me all day long. She smells so good and I love when she talks. She cried a little in the car and I smiled the whole way.

It is still new. I don't ever want this appreciation to go away. It is thrilling to hear her little voice and it is still just a miracle. All day I kept asking myself, Is this real? Am I really alone with Reagan? I just didn't think it was going to happen while she was a baby.

What a gift for Auntie.

The Day After

Life is altogether different now.
Reagan's trach has been removed.
I cannot believe I can write that sentence!

What an absolute relief, such pressure mounting until this day.
I had hope that God would rescue her, but I wasn't sure it would be now.
The bawling that occurred when they told me the second cord was moving!
And then to know that the doctor took out the trach, a vote of confidence in our little munchkin.
I was so grateful and just enormously relieved.

It didn't end like a fairy tale, since the trach was then put back in because of her distress.
And it was a long, stressful day waiting to try again.
But try again they did and this time it worked!!!
I am still in a state of shock as I write these words. Can it be true?

Reagan is still in the hospital, struggling a little so they gave her steriods for her swelling.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a new day for her, filled with lungs full of oxygen!

What can I say to God after all this? Thank you a million times over does not say it all.

Blessed be His name. He is my rock and fortress. He deserves the glory for this miracle in my family.

The Eve of the Most Momentous Day

The requests have been presented. The troops have rallied together. The consensus is that we are so happy that Reagan is ours and we love her madly, fiercely, completely no matter what the outcome is tomorrow. God has already given us our miracle.

Thank you Jesus for her life and may she know you well.

Two Wheeler

Brennen learned how to ride his bike without the training wheels today.

I wanted to upload a video to show you, but it won't work.

Oh well.

It took about 5 minutes to teach him, according to Daddy.

The kid has always had some mad balancing skills.

For Your Laughing Pleasure

For today's post, I am going to start something to make you laugh.

I will be posting videos that make me laugh.

Take this one for instance with Kristen Wiig.

I laugh until I cry. When she pops up from behind the couch and gives that overdramatic reaction, I just can't believe what I am seeing. Pure comedy.

Date Night

olivia and i went on a date tonight. We went to see megamind in 3D right after school and then went into sephora to try on make up together.

just the girls.

sometimes i still cant believe i have a daughter. who will finally do some girly things.

just like i cant believe my phones keypad isnt working properly right now.

i cant stand incompetent technology...

Five

Five more days.

What will He do?

How will it turn out?

What will my reaction be?

I hope with all my heart that I will have peace.
I hope that my heart does not rage within me.
I hope that He will be honored and not ashamed.

Most of all I hope that she is healed.