For Your Laughing Pleasure

For today's post, I am going to start something to make you laugh.

I will be posting videos that make me laugh.

Take this one for instance with Kristen Wiig.

I laugh until I cry. When she pops up from behind the couch and gives that overdramatic reaction, I just can't believe what I am seeing. Pure comedy.

Date Night

olivia and i went on a date tonight. We went to see megamind in 3D right after school and then went into sephora to try on make up together.

just the girls.

sometimes i still cant believe i have a daughter. who will finally do some girly things.

just like i cant believe my phones keypad isnt working properly right now.

i cant stand incompetent technology...

Five

Five more days.

What will He do?

How will it turn out?

What will my reaction be?

I hope with all my heart that I will have peace.
I hope that my heart does not rage within me.
I hope that He will be honored and not ashamed.

Most of all I hope that she is healed.

Busted

Well, so much for that. I already missed a day on day #2. How's that for consistency?

To be fair, I was with Miss Reagan all day, so I was a little distracted.

(I know she looks scared of me, but it was really just my headband that frightened her.)

A Post a Day...

November is National Blog Posting Month. How do I know this?

Bethany, the really great writer, told me.

So, I'm going to give it a whirl.

First order of business...

Halloween was a huge success and the kids looked really cute.
Olivia was a college graduate (HUGE subliminal message here) and Brennen was an astronaut.

In other news, Nate and I were complete dorks:

Oak Glen

This October we went to Oak Glen to pick apples and just plain be in the country. It was a great day and we made the memories. They are growing up too fast.

Countdown

It's less than two weeks until the future is decided.
How do I feel about that?

Panic. Peace. Suffocation. Calm.

I am panicked because what if it doesn't work? What if she comes home with the trach still in?

I am at peace because I know that the end is already determined and God loves Reagan.

I am suffocating because I can't fathom more of this indefinitely. This weight of sadness. Knowing I might not hear her for a long time. Watching my siblings in pain.

I am calm because there is nothing else to be done, no where else to be. Reagan will still be here and will still smile at me when I walk toward her. He said, Be still and Know I am God. I am waiting for Him.

My heart is holding its breath.

First Days of School 2010

Olivia Rose on her first day of Second Grade

Brennen Nathan on his first day of Preschool

Is it safe to say that I have cute kids?

As If...

Just in case in the future I ever forget that I did this...

As if.

Miracles Do Happen

Ever since Reagan was born, my world has been rattled.

Things had never been so dire before. I did not have a life-altering event to point to that had turned everything upside down.

I had not felt pain like that before.

And it wasn't her fault. And I don't look at her and feel that pain.

I feel joy and gladness and also raw when I look at her. Her life has already brought such highs and lows for me.

My lowest moment in this experience was right before her trach surgery. I already blogged about it, so I'll just leave it alone. But despair was the key emotion. God didn't do what I hoped He would do.

And then the highest point came the day she left the hospital after 9 weeks. Not just because she was with us, but because GUESS WHAT??? One of her vocal cords moved!!!

IT'S MOVING.

And because it is moving, Reagan will probably not need her trach for much longer. Isn't that a miracle? Because I prayed so hard for that to happen and you did too. I know it. God really did what I hoped He would do.

So, I guess now I am left with the two extremes in my head.

Disappointment and Joy. Despair and Hope. All in two months time.

It's a lot to wrap my brain around. I still haven't reconciled the two. God is still working in me to... explain? grow? accept? decide?

But this I do know... miracles do happen.