Boing, Boing

Guess what we got for Christmas???

No, that's not me... It's Lindsey.

I think she is trying out for the Olympics.

The Inner Struggle

Do you ever struggle to live up to your own expectations of yourself? Do you never feel satisfied with where you are at, always thinking of how you could be better?

No? Me neither.

Just kidding. As this New Year came, I thought out all that I would like to do and be and found myself greatly lacking. This idea of who I think I can be, or who I wish I could be makes me crazy sometimes, always coming up short. For instance, these are some of the things I desire in my life (in no particular order):

1. I want to be a calm, patient, loving example of who God is to my children. I so passionately want both of my kids to grow up loving Him and living their lives in service to Him. So I want to take it upon myself to be the one who points them to God in all things. I want them to be disciplined, loving, self-controlled little people who exhibit godly characteristics in all situations.

2. I want to fully educate my kids. I want to pour out all of my elementary education into them and make them as smart and well-rounded as I possibly can. I want to spend hours diligently working with them to make sure they never fall behind.

3. I want to have fun with my kids and I want them to think I am fun to be with. I want to provide them with amazing childhood memories that they can look back on and say, "What a fun family we had!"

3. I want to have the cleanest house imaginable. I want to be able to eat off my floors at all times. I want to have all of the laundry done in a timely manner and the bathtubs sparkling white, just in case I should have guests at a moment's notice.

4. I want to be a fabulous cook for my family. I want them to actually want to eat what I make them. I want to be creative and come up with new and exciting things to eat every night.

5. I want to be a fun, sexy, understanding wife to Nate and to contribute to his wellbeing. I want to help him be a better man everyday and provide for all of his needs. I want to WANT to make his lunch everyday.

6. I want to be there for all of my friends and family who need me. I want to uphold them when the day is too much, laugh with them when their kids say something funny, and listen to them when they need to get it out. I want to have time to value each relationship that I have and spend time with all of them one-on-one regularly so that they know how much they mean to me.

7. I want be so completely organized that all of this runs like clockwork and I never get frazzled or frustrated or stressed and I NEVER take it out on the kids.

8. I want MomSpace to be so impactful to the women who come that they look on that year in their life and say, "That made a difference. I wasn't alone. I made a good friend. I grew closer to God."

9. I want to learn to be good at something. Something productive and worthwhile. Like sewing, or knitting, or photography, or ... something. I want to make things that will last and make people happy, or at least make me happy to do it.

10. I want to know God more and draw close to Him. I want to feel His presence in my crazy life everyday and I want to pay Him close attention. I want to be known by Him and find satisfaction in my friendship with Him. I want to find time in my day to read God's Word, talk to Him and be still.


Is that asking too much?

Well, maybe just a little... so do you see how this would be an inner struggle? If your mind is telling you that all of these things are the goal, how to do you ever feel satisfied? How do you ever feel good about the days that fall WAY too short of this ideal? You can beat yourself up, promise tomorrow will be better, dwell on ways to make it happen the next time... but are we ever really satisfied? And wouldn't I just be so danged tired from making it all happen all the time anyway? Is that really an abundant life that we are promised?

I know the answer lies with the One who came to set me free from bondage. Only He is able to rescue me from myself and the one who comes to tell lies. The goal isn't actually to accomplish all of these things on my long list.

It's to Know Him and to Make Him Known.
That's all.

I know from experience that once that becomes my focus, everything else falls into place.

So, that is where I go from here. Not striving each day, but leaning on Him.

Molly Mae

Olivia is in love...
No, we didn't get a new puppy, but my mom did. Molly is a white fluff ball who has captured Liv's heart and she can't get enough. Molly is a Maltipoo and she loves to hop around, bite your fingers, and sleep by the fireplace.

Welcome to the family, Molly!

Obsession

I don't know about you all, but my child has an obsession. With a shirt.
What? you ask. Why would a normal, healthy four-year-old have an obsession with a regular T-shirt?

Beats me.

All I know is that Brennen has asked to wear this shirt everyday since summertime when he received it as a gift from his friend, Gavin. It is his "Killer Dana" shirt, named for the surf shop in Dana Point where it was purchased. If it is clean, he chooses it from his closet over any other shirt. If it is dirty, he relentlessly asks when it will be clean again. I have asked him if it's the colors that he likes, or that Gavin got it for him, for the love of Pete, WHY do you love it so? I mean it's cool and all, but why the obsession?

"I like it."

Uh. Ok.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

On Thanksgiving weekend, we drove up to my
aunt's house in Lake Arrowhead and had a rip-roaring time. We didn't know it was going to snow, so imagine our surprise when we woke up the first morning and saw all of this! Olivia was loving every minute of it, Brennen was more cautious (shocking, I know.)

I was mostly glad to get our family Christmas picture taken and not have to dress all four of us up in coordinating outfits just to stand in front of our Christmas tree in the living room and have terrible flash in our faces. No more for us, I say!

Mind the Gap

Olivia lost her first top tooth last week! That sucker was hanging on for dear life for a couple of weeks, but she finally got it out in computer class at school.

I cannot believe how big of a space that little tooth left, it is GIGANTIC! Her face looks new to me now, not quite the same. She is older, prouder, and talks with a slight lisp because of the giant hole in her mouth. We are one step closer to have a real grown up girl living in this house.

Beauty in Brokenness

It's Time...

It is about that time to update you all on my fun-loving, cuter-than-buttons nieces and nephew.

First up, Kenna girl!

I mean, c'mon. Is she not adorable? Mckenna has turned one year old and she is a delight to me. She always has a smile on her face and she is super happy to see me anytime I come around and that makes me feel so great. She is the tiniest little bug, but she has a very large voice and I love her spunk. Her new word is "more" and she is loving all of the new food that being one gets you.

Next up, my Nollie boy!

Nolan is a hoot. He is two and totally obsessed with Thomas and Barney movies. He is talking so well and calls Brennen "Brennie" and Olivia "Libby." I am sad to report that my name, "HeHe" is slowly changing to "Auntie" or "Aunt Heather." Nolan is so much fun to play with. My favorite thing he does right now is report to me when he is going to time out. Funny kid.

Last, but not least... Avery Grace!

Here she is striking her pose and doing her latest trick (that I taught her). We ask her to "show her teeth" and this is the funny face we get every time! Avery is 15 months now and talking more and more. She is becoming very independent and loves playing with the big kids. She can do "crazy man" now and usually says "OOO!!!" when she is excited.

I love this group of kids and I am so glad they belong to me.

Four

Today my son turned four.
Today we celebrated all day long.
Today was a day to rejoice and be glad in.

We became a family of four because of him.

The New Boy in Town

Last week, the sweet and adorable Laken Jude stopped by for a visit.

He was accompanied by his big brother, Kai.

These two have known each other since birth and are three days apart.

We had lots of fun together and I was soaking up Laken since he is already three months old and this was the first time I had met him and WHO KNOWS WHEN I will see him again.

He might be walking.

He might grow hair like Kai's.

He might sleep through the night.

Let's just soak him up, shall we?

How lucky am I?